


Give us one More Chance

by liestotheheart (liesunheardof)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, M/M, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-03-29 20:56:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13935237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liesunheardof/pseuds/liestotheheart
Summary: The guests applauded thunderously. Everyone smiled, happy for the bride and the groom. Everyone, except for Joshua. Granted, he faked his smile as best as he could. Even when his heart felt broken in two and the urge to cry and hug himself was damn near killing him, he faked a smile. Faked because of the person who was getting married tonight, Joshua's friend turned lover, Joshua's former lover now.





	1. Things Fall Apart and I'm Alone Here

**Author's Note:**

> Years later they meet once again and that's the main crux of the story.

**Holding on to things will only break your heart.   -**[ Mitch Albom](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwordsnquotes.com%2Ftagged%2Fmitch-albom&t=M2FhYzEyMmViZDRjNjc4M2ZhYmVjMGViM2RlNWQyMjRmZGMzOTBiNixnMU9wVlJwQQ%3D%3D), _The Time Keeper_ (via [ wordsnquotes](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwordsnquotes.com%2F&t=NGQzZWM1MGUyNTlmY2NiZDE3Y2E4ZDk1MzA5ZGMxM2MxMWM4YzJlMixnMU9wVlJwQQ%3D%3D)) 

 

* * *

He looked at himself in the mirror: eyes red, huge eye bags, cheeks slightly sunken in. Joshua could see the exhaustion on his face. He pulled a smile; it hurt. To him it looked so fake, rehearsed, but he knew that most people would buy it as being genuine. His friends included as long as he didn’t look certain ones in the eye. All Joshua had to do was keep it together for most of the event and he’d be fine.

He moved away from the counter and straightened his tie one last time before walking out the door and into the elevator. Stomach clenching harder with each decreasing number, Joshua wished he was at the airport now rather than later. He’d rather wait there for hours then have to sit through the torture that was coming his way. But if he missed this he’d be eviscerated by all his friends, all but one. They all planned their lives around this, and Joshua couldn’t back out without a good reason. Not without raising suspicion. He clenched his teeth, preparing himself as the elevator stopped and the doors opened.

* * *

The guests applauded thunderously. Everyone smiled, happy for the bride and the groom. Everyone, except for Joshua. Granted, he faked his smile as best as he could. Even when his heart felt broken in two and the urge to cry and hug himself was damn near killing him, he faked a smile. Faked because of the person who was getting married tonight, Joshua's friend turned lover, _Joshua's_ former lover now.

They dated for almost a year before Jeonghan told him one day, “Let’s break up. This won’t go anywhere. Two men in South Korea.”

 Joshua fought the urge to shout at Jeonghan since he had been the one to start this, to tell Joshua that they’d be fine. But he was stubborn and prideful, he wouldn’t reduce himself to begging. If Jeonghan wanted out, then Joshua would let him go. Fuck him.

He remembered slamming doors and taking his things from Jeonghan’s apartment. Thankfully, he’d never quite moved in. Otherwise it’d be even more ugly.

They came together naturally, so easily. Between spending so much time as friends, knowing each other so well, becoming lovers was easy. An easy relationship filled with happiness. But from the get go Jeonghan made it clear that they shouldn’t tell any of their friends or their family. Joshua thought it weird but let it slide thinking they would tell them eventually. They didn’t. With each progressive month more secrets piled on top of each other. Jeonghan always seemed sad, loving Joshua but hiding from him until the relationship ended abruptly. And now three months later Jeonghan was getting married. Things seemed so much clearer now. Joshua smiled bitterly.

It didn’t matter though. Joshua was leaving. He had a flight back to L.A., permanently. His dad was sick and he needed to be home. Joshua was going home. He spent the last month packing, selling his belongings that he didn’t need, shipping things back, and applying for jobs back home. Tonight was his last night here, and in all honesty, he would’ve skipped if he thought he could get away with it. Who wanted to see their ex, who they were still in love with, get married to someone else? No one, but here he sat, smiling best as he could as the wedding went on and the man who had Joshua’s heart married someone other than him.

* * *

Joshua checked his watch once more noting the time and that he had to leave soon.

Vernon nudged him, “Why do you keep looking at your watch? Do you have something to do?”

Joshua whispered back. “Yea. I got a text earlier saying I had to come in and take a shift later at the hospital and if I don’t make it I’m dead.”

Vernon frowned, “Really? Even after you requested time off?”

“Something happened to one of the other doctors,” Joshua explained. “I have to go.”

“Sucks,” Vernon said, “just make sure to tell us before you leave yea?” Once he got the nod from josha, he turned his face back to the vows.

Internally, Joshua sighed in relief. His lie worked. The fact that the hospital had him working odd hours helped at this point, even if he had his last day of work a week ago. Dr. Hong was leaving to go home and the nurses cried a bit, while his department head mourned the loss of one of his best doctors.

Joshua grimaced. He heard vows about love, forever, and making a family. He felt ugly. Joshua wanted to run up there and punch Jeonghan in the face he was so filled with hatred. He knew he should be happy for them but how could he when the stupid bastard whispered the same things to him and sounded like he meant it, only to leave Joshua.

Apparently to Jeonghan it meant nothing, their friendship, their relationship, all of it meant nothing as he left Joshua to pick up the pieces of his broken heart as best as he could. Joshua had to endure this tripe, nursing his broken heart.

The applause rang through the hall and the lights turned on signaling dinner as servers poured into the room arms filled with trays. Joshua ate and answered questions in a haze, while his heart was being stabbed by a thousand tiny knives over and over again with questions about the “happy” couple. But he had bigger fish to fry than his broken heart and the person who broke it.

* * *

As the night winded down the couple went to cut the cake, people crowding them. Joshua took this opportunity to leave. He got up and walked towards the doors only being stopped by Wonwoo who was on his way back in, “Where are you going hyung? They’re cutting the cake.”

Joshua pasted a smile on his face. “Just to the bathroom Wonwoo. That last drink I had.” The other man nodded and walked over to the rest of their friends. Joshua pushed open the doors and briskly walked towards the elevator.

 In his haste to finish up business here in Korea, he cut his lease early. His landlord was a nice older lady who understood his situation. Joshua rented out a room at the hotel Jeonghan had decided to have his wedding, for the night. It was convenient. He rode the elevator up thankful that no one else got on. Getting off, he rushed to his room and unlocked it. He quickly changed stuffing the suit into the suitcase while putting on the shirt and jeans he laid out earlier.

* * *

Checking out, he thanked the receptionist for making the call for his taxi. Joshua left through the front doors not looking back. As he told the driver to take him to the airport his cellphone rang, text tone going off like crazy. He looked down at the screen, seeing texts from his friends asking if he had come back from the bathroom yet. Joshua turned off the sound, laying back into the seats pushing away all thoughts of the wedding and his aching heart.  His family was his priority now. He’d text them back when he landed.

* * *

Jeonghan took his now wife’s hand into his and they sliced into the cake as everyone cheered. He took out a slice, and fed a piece to her. He smiled. _God he was a fucking great liar._ He looked around seeing his friends in a cluster cheering for him. The one face he wanted and didn’t want to see wasn’t there. Joshua disappeared. Jeonghan knew he was there as he saw the man earlier, but now he was nowhere in sight. Wondering where Joshua was as he took his bride back to the table, he looked towards the double doors.

* * *

_One month later:_

 

He ached right down to his bones. His legs hurt, his arms hurt, his face hurt. Why did he have to stay up? Joshua groaned as he heard another text tone go off on his phone; his friends, who literally texted at a constant rate once he touched down to LA. That’s why he was up still, even when he texted back once when he landed, saying:

 _I’m back home family emergency. No time. Talk to you when I can_.

But that wasn’t enough for them, as during the next three weeks as Joshua dealt with everything in his life they still texted but he never answered back. Every day was exhausting. Flopping onto his bed each and every night in tiredness, he held off from contacting them. Everything was too fresh, too painful. Now he had to. He waited for the video call to go through. Once it connected, noises started bombarding him, almost making him get up to turn off the video call.

“Hyung!? Is everything ok?” Seungkwan screeched.

God, even from his iPad sitting on his desk Joshua could hear Seungkwan like he was two feet away.

“What was the family emergency that you didn’t contact us for three weeks?” Jihoon snapped.

“What the crap Josh?!” Vernon yelled. He let out a yelp. Someone must’ve hit him for the word crap, Joshua thought.

“Shua hyung what happened?!” Soonyoung asked.

“Guys, guys! Calm down! I’m ok!” Joshua yelled back. He knew they meant well but they gave him a headache with all the noise. Still they yelled over each other asking questions, yelling at him for not answering back, trying to make him guilty.

“We saw that you read the messages!” Seungcheol roared over everyone.

“You didn’t answer!” Chan said.

“We worried!” Jun added.

“I was busy!” He groaned loudly.

“Too busy to message back?!” They asked simultaneously.

“Yes!” Joshua cried out as he laid back against his pillows. He wanted sleep, he had work tomorrow. Joshua lucked out nabbing a spot at Shriner’s Children’s Hospital. He also had other hospitals lined up, wanting to interview him, but they were further than he preferred at a time like this. If they were closer he might’ve agreed to an interview. He had tiny patients who wanted to see the funny Dr. Hong in the morning; Joshua needed his sleep. Instead he got yelled at by his friends because he had stuff to deal with.

“The hell!” Someone screamed. It sounded like Jihoon, but Joshua didn’t care at this point. He brought his hand up to hang up, stopping when someone asked, “What emergency was big enough to ignore your family?”

Joshua snapped. “My dad freaking died!” He let his dad die without saying goodbye, taking care of his other _family_ in Korea. He knew they cared and that they worried about him, but Joshua had little sleep since he got back combined with the stress of the funeral, burying his dad, and the guilt. The guilt kept him up at night and ate away at him.

He remembered it vividly. Making it back to L.A., out of the airport and hopping into his cousin’s car only to get the call from an aunt that his dad had died. Joshua missed him by only a few hours; it happened so suddenly it left him reeling. Joshua thought he had more time.

He heard silence: complete, utter, blessed silence. Finally, they yelling stopped.

“If we’re done, I’m I’m going to sleep then.” He sighed, “I’ve had enough.” Joshua had enough of it all.

Mingyu broke the silence first, asking, “Are you ok hyung?”

Joshua sighed, putting his hand on his eyes as he heard the rest of them giving their condolences, their oh my god’s, their I’m sorrys. He heard I’m sorry so many times over the last few weeks that he wanted to strike it from his own vocabulary.

“I’m fine.” He bit out, feeling that wave of bitterness and guilt wash over him. “As well as anyone can be.”

“How are you and your mom holding up?” Wonwoo asked. If Joshua opened his eyes to look, he’d see the sorrow in their eyes, but he didn’t care. Not right now.

“We’re doing all right. The family rallied behind us and everything went smoothly. We just have to deal with our own emotions right now.” And that was the kicker, his emotions. He played the strong, silent son the whole time they had the funeral, and the wake. Joshua even had to write a eulogy for his own father while tamping down on the guilt of having missed him by a number of hours. He was just so tired that he didn’t even want to deal with anything more.

“Did you tell Jeonghan?” Seokmin asked.

Joshua’s heart dropped. He hadn’t thought much of the other man until now, too busy with trying not to collapse with all the funeral preparations. “No, I haven’t. I thought he’d be at his honeymoon or something.” Another lie. Joshua was full lies now a day. Especially when it came to Jeonghan. He didn’t want to talk to Jeonghan. Ever again, if he could get away with it. “One of you can tell him when you see him at the office.” A few of them worked in the same building, making it easier for them to see each other versus the others.

“When are you coming back?” Minghao asked quietly.

Joshua took his hand off his eyes. Sighing, he looked them in the eyes before saying, “I’m not.”

Some of the others gaped, while a few nodded in understanding.

“I resigned from the hospital a month ago. I also cut my lease. I’m staying here in L.A. permanently.” He explained, rubbing at his tired eyes. “I’m not leaving my mom. Not after this.”

“Then what about us…?”

“What about you guys?” Joshua said exasperated. “You’ll live without me.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t leave her by herself. Do you understand? I can’t.” He said, desperation leaking through.

“No, you’re right. You can’t leave your mom.” Seungcheol looked at him through the camera. “It would’ve been nice to be able to say goodbye though.”

“Things happen.” Joshua replied. Things did happen, like falling in love, then getting dumped, then going to your ex’s wedding, then having your dad die. Shit happened.

Seungkwan tried to brighten the mood. “You can always visit! Or vice versa!”

Joshua nodded absentmindedly. “Yea, visits.” Looking at the clock on his wall, he noted the time. “Look it’s super late here and I have work tomorrow so good night ok.” He pressed the end video button abruptly. He knew deep down they meant well. He knew. But at this moment it didn’t mean much of anything to him. He let his father die without saying goodbye. He let his mom down by not being by her side. He let himself down as well. Joshua rolled on his side, clenching at his blankets in tired frustration drifting off.


	2. I'm Fine, I Swear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “But I’m lying, I’m so very far from fine.” Twenty One Pilots, “Fall Away” (via wnq-music)

**6 Years Later**

“Goodbye Dr. Hong!” The twins sing songed together, as they ran to their parents.

“Don’t come back any time soon,” he teased. “Take care of yourselves.” Joshua smiled at their enthusiasm even when he had to give them their shots.

The two of them smiled, holding onto the little treat that they chose from Joshua’s stash. Their parents laughed and gave Joshua their thanks before ushering the twins out of the clinic.

Joshua stretched his arms, letting out a small yawn. Looking up at the clock, he noticed that it was time to close. He stacked the files in his office and took them outside to the receptionist to file away. Going back in to his office, Joshua slowly did inventory.

* * *

 As he brought down the metal grate over the clinic doors, he waved good bye to his coworker who handled the older clientele who felt safer in the hands of herbalist.

Joshua had taken over his mother’s business. While he was a doctor he primarily worked in western medicine and his knowledge of holistic treatments needed brushing up as he left it behind in Korea and worked at Shriners for the last several years. So, he had taken on someone else to pick up the area that his mother left.

Adding himself into the office as a western medicine doctor did wonders for the business. The business now took care of both sides; the modern family and the patients who wanted more traditional methods. Even the random hipster who wanted to try herbal methods but didn’t speak Asian languages to communicated with the older herbalists.

The process to become a licensed clinic took some time and quite a bit of money for renovations but it was necessary. His mom would never forgive him if he closed down her office, even if she couldn’t work as much anymore.

The cancer had hit hard and fast. He called in several favors with fellow doctors to get his mom a fighting chance. It had been touch and go for a few months but finally after surgery and some chemo things seemed ok. The checkups were often and the money for insurance and bills were slightly draining but it was doable. It had to be. Joshua wouldn’t lose his mom.

Joshua was busier than when he worked at the hospital, running your own business wasn’t as easy as working under someone else. He spent most of his time here at the clinic and then on the weekends Joshua spent his afternoon and evening hours at the café.

In a bid to have another pool of money to draw upon, Joshua agreed to become a partner in the opening of a café. An up and coming café that was gathering quite the following; two of his other cousins and himself partnered together to open it up.

Between the clinic, the café, and making sure his mom was as healthy as she could be, Joshua barely had any time to himself. His guitar collected dust in its case; he hadn’t touched it in years. Joshua ate, worked, and worked some more. His normal routine included: breakfast with his mom, off to open the clinic, lunch, clinic, home, dinner with his mom, some mindless anime, sleep. Rinse and repeat. Except the weekends he replaced the clinic hours for café work. It would be bleak if Joshua even had the time to think about it, but there wasn’t much extra time at all.

* * *

Today something new popped up. Vernon and Seungkwan were here for a visit. Joshua changed his routine for the friends he hadn’t seen in person in the last three years ago. The two of them planned to stay in L.A. for a week. Joshua agreed to see them and take them around.

Their visit had been abrupt and unplanned. The two literally called Joshua the day before their flight asking him if he was free. While he wasn’t free in a sense, Joshua made time for them. But it seemed odd for the two of them to pop up in the states without telling him way in advance. Joshua would find out exactly why they were here later.

He got into his car and drove to their hotel. He would’ve taken them in but Joshua knew he wouldn’t be around and it was simpler for them not to know about his current problems now. Joshua didn’t want to burden them with his ongoing issues. Arriving at the hotel parking lot, he called Vernon. “Hey, I’m outside. I’m in the blue Honda.”

Vernon laughed, “No luxury car for Dr. Hong?”

Joshua snorted, “Not when it’s unnecessary. I paid a decent amount for this car anyhow. The idea of dropping a cool 60K on something like a BMW or Mercedes makes me cringe, doctor salary or not. Mr. Chwe, are you going to get into this poor doctor’s car or not?”

Joshua heard Seungkwan in the background screaming in Korean, “Hansolie, stop messing with Shua hyung before he leaves us to go back home!”

Snickering into his hand, “You heard him Hansolie,” Joshua teased.

Vernon grumbled, “We’ll be down,” hanging up on Joshua.  

Joshua laughed. He got out of the car, leaning against it to wait for Vernon and Seungkwan. It’d been too long since he had seen any of his friends face to face beyond the occasional video chat. He missed them: Seokmin’s unrelenting smiles and loud outbursts, Mingyu’s over eagerness, Soonyoung’s unfailing happiness, Minghao’s cuteness until riled, Jun’s greasy lines, Wonwoo’s love of food, Jihoon’s tiny body full of fight and music, Chan’s love of Michael Jackson, Seungkwan’s sassiness, Vernon’s extra ordinary personality, Seungcheol’s sturdiness, and Jeonghan’s—.

Clenching his fists, he let out a deep sigh. He didn’t want to miss anything about Jeonghan, at all. But he did when he thought about him, rare as it was: the kisses, the sweet whispers, the loving gazes. He missed Jeonghan like a missing limb.

Joshua jerked out of his trance hearing Seungkwan’s voice. _Loud as ever_ , he thought fondly. He turned towards the noise and watched as Seungkwan and Vernon walked to him. Seungkwan waving cheerfully shouting, “Shua hyung! I missed you!” Vernon trailing after his boyfriend as normal sighing but sneaking smiling glances at him. Joshua smiled at how cute they were. It was best to forget everything that happened between him and Jeonghan. Nothing would change now.

* * *

Joshua drove them to one of his favorite places to eat in L.A, a hole in the wall Italian restaurant owned and family operated for years. He had been a regular back when he worked at the hospital and he was always warmly welcomed. The owner would pester him about marriage and children and he would shrug them off and laugh along with her sons as she tried to push them to have kids.

 She welcomed Joshua with a hug and kiss, happy to see him with friends for once. He normally came in by himself or with one or two coworkers when he did work at the hospital. Now a days, he came once a month with his mom. She moved them to a more private area after patting Joshua on the cheek and hugging Vernon and Seungkwan as well.

“Still popular with the older ladies huh Josh,” Vernon said with a smirk.

Kicking him underneath the table, Joshua scoffed. “As always? No. She’s like a second mother to me. I hang out with her sons on occasion actually. We’re friends.”

“You haven’t been secluding yourself in your room after work like we thought you would be?” Seungkwan threw in.

“No, I haven’t.” Joshua said. It was more or less the truth. Granted more often than not he went home and just died on his bed with his pets, but some days he would go to the beach or hang out with his friends. Less often than his mom would like but work kept him tired. No matter how much he slept, when he actually had the time, Joshua felt like he was exhausted down to his bones. But they didn’t need to know that. He coped just fine.

Vernon hummed as he drank his lemonade. “Are you dating anyone? The last time we asked you made a noise and moved on to the next question.”

Joshua sighed, wishing at that moment he actually drank still, he would need it if they were going to ask questions like this. But he cut drinking when he got back to LA, focusing purely on the ‘Doctor heal thyself’ mantra. “I did. A while back,” he looked up to the ceiling thinking. Man, it had been too long if he had to concentrate and think about it. “About a two years ago. I probably didn’t hear you when you asked last time. I was single then.”

“What happened?” Seungkwan asked, dipping the bread in olive oil and then feeding it to Vernon.

Joshua smiled as Vernon opened his mouth unconsciously and ate what was offered to him. “She broke up with me. Complained that I worked too much and didn’t spend enough time with her. A grade ‘A’ workaholic she called me,” he said, shrugging.

“Hyung,” Seungkwan said, eyes swerving to him disappoint clear. “How are you going to have a relationship if you’re working all the time? Even if you’re a doctor people won’t date you unless you actually spend time with them.”

Laughing he running his hand through his hair. “Are you my mother now Seungkwan? I’m too busy anyhow with the clinic and the café. No time for relationships here.” Joshua leaned his elbow onto the table, giving them a teasing smile.

“No baby Hongs running around? No urge for kids?” Vernon asked, munching on bread.

“Definitely not,” Joshua countered. “I’ve worked with kids for a long time. While they’re cute, I have no time or need to have one attached to me 24/7.” He didn’t mention the fact that the years he spent at the children’s hospital made him feel helpless when he couldn’t tell the child they’d be able to go home. That he couldn’t find the cure because it didn’t exist, or when the disease ran its course too soon and too fast. Working at a children’s hospital was fine, until he lost one.

Joshua knew the rules, the ideals, and the stances to take on patient death; it just always hit harder when he had to be the one to say the ugly words of ‘I’m sorry’. Watching children die put him off having his own children for life.

“I’m not ready to settle down yet. You two on the other hand. How long has it been since you’ve been together? If anyone is settling down for the long haul it’s you two.”

Seungkwan looked down, cheeks getting red, body shifting into itself. Vernon ruffled the back of his own hair, looking away from Joshua to the side. Joshua looked at them suspiciously. “Are you two hiding something from me?”

They let out nervous laughter. Vernon looked to Seungkwan with soft eyes and replied, “We, well, we were thinking of getting married. Here, in LA, since we had the opportunity.”

Seungkwan smiled back. Joshua would vomit if he didn’t find it cute. The two of them looked back to him. Seungkwan nudged Vernon who elbowed him back. This went on until Joshua got tired of looking at it. “What do you two want to ask me? I’m assuming you want to ask me something.” He looked at them like a disapproving parent: one eyebrow raised, folded arms, eyes demanding.

He cleared his throat. “We’d like for you to be our witness. You know since they need one to be there. We’d like it to be you,” Seungkwan smiled.

“Since you helped us get together and all,” Vernon said voice gruff, trying to hid how emotional this was making him.

Joshua blinked at them, batting his long lashes stupidly. “Me? I didn’t do much to get you two going.” All he had done was shove them in a closet and take away the key, waiting for them to do something. Which they had. The two had a minor fight, until Joshua heard a thud and some rather loud kissing noises. He unlocked the thing and hightailed it out of there.

“Hyung!” Seungkwan whined. “You did.” He folded his fingers over Vernon’s, “If you haven’t left us there we probably wouldn’t have done anything.”

Joshua chuckled, shaking his head in denial. “You would’ve gotten there eventually. I haven’t seen two people who care for each other like that in a long while.”

“But you have to be our witness. You pushed us. Please?” Seungkwan’s eyes went wide, almost tearing up on cue to make Joshua give in.

“You know the answer is yes. I’m the only one here.” He smirked, “Not to mention I have to record it for everyone else to see.”

Vernon laughed. “We’re planning a reception back home. For everyone to be together with us. Maybe a mini wedding too depending on our budget.”

“Will you come? For our pseudo-wedding?” Seungkwan asked, eyes bright.

Joshua gave them a weak smile. There was honestly too much to do. He opened his mouth only to get cut off.

“It’d be nice you know. To have my fellow bro there.” Vernon said looking at him imploringly.

The two of them were close. Their ability to speak English, odd rapport, and combined dorkiness made them close friends. Brothers in a way that the others couldn’t quite reach.

“I don’t think I can,” Joshua grimaced. He’d be too afraid of what would happen if he left for something like that. Not to mention a small part of him wanted to never see Jeonghan again. He stopped them before they could ask. “The clinic.”

Vernon’s face fell. But he nodded. They were adults. Joshua had a business, an important one. He understood but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

“I’m sorry. I would if I could.” Joshua said reaching over to clasp Vernon’s left forearm. Vernon clasped back with hand, nodding in understanding. 

“You’ll be here at the least.” He said. Joshua smiled softly at him.

Seungkwan pouted a bit, “Well, this is what happens when you live across several oceans and a lot of countries away.”

At that moment, the food came out marking the end of their conversation.

* * *

Driving back home, Joshua mentally reshuffled some of his own schedule around in order to pencil in time with Vernon and Seungkwan. There were a lot of things to do to make sure they had enough time to get their documents in order. Half of the process was done that they gathered everything, but there were a few more steps still. Then Joshua also to make sure he had time to bring them to city hall, get them hitched, and back to the café for a nice celebratory dinner, even if there was no one else here besides him.

He drove into the driveway noting that his uncle’s car was on the street as well as his other aunt’s. Why would they here? They’d usually only come on weekends or for special family events. Parking his car in the garage, Joshua grabbed his bag and slowly walked into the house. As soon as he pushed the door open, he heard Ichigo bark and Shu meow loudly saying their welcome backs to him.

Walking in, he was greeted by his uncle, his wife, his aunt and his mom. They stayed on the couch. But Joshua’s pets on the other hand weren’t so subdued. Ichigo crashed into his legs with a large woof while Shu huffed in disdain at Ichigo’s behavior but came over to rub himself over Joshua’s legs as well.

“Joshua, you’re home. Come join us after you dropped off your bag and changed,” his mom said, smiling at how the pets greeted Joshua as usual.

Joshua ruffled Ichigo’s head and picked up Shu. He nodded to everyone letting out a small hi as he went up the stairs to his room, Ichigo following as per usual. Shu rubbed himself all over Joshua’s neck settling down like a scarf. Looking down at Ichigo’s excitement, he said out loud, “Do you know why they’re here girl?” He laughed as she gave a sneeze. Turning his head to Shu, “And what about you? Do you know?” Shu whapped his tail on his chest before flicking it lightly across his face. Sputtering as he caught a bit of cat fur in his mouth, “I’ll take that as a no then. Off Shu, I need to change.”

He stripped, throwing his clothes in the hamper. He pulled his shirt from out under Shu who yawned, flashing Joshua his tiny fangs as if saying I’ll get you for that later.

“You know what happens when you sit on my clothes like that,” Joshua said offhandedly to Shu. He grabbed a pair of new sweats. “Come on you two. Let’s see what the family is up to.”

He walked down the stairs, saying hi once again to his Uncle Jeremey, his wife Aunt Emily, and his Aunt Theresa, noting that his mom wasn’t in the living room with them. Ichigo and Shu followed him down the stairs, parking their behinds near him as he sat on the other couch.

“How’s the clinic Joshua?” Aunt Theresa asked.

Joshua would’ve stared at her in a side eye if it wasn’t impolite. Every time a relative started out with asking him how the clinic was, it signaled that they wanted something from him. Something that normally took him away from the clinic.

“The clinic is doing fine.” Joshua really wanted to just make them stop beating around the bush. He’d ask out right, but his mom was home and no doubt in the kitchen. She heard everything no matter where he was and she’d whack him one if Joshua was being impolite. “What’s up? Something wrong with the family?” It’s better for him to push this along before they start in on the small talk.

His mom came from the kitchen with a new batch of tea in the pot and a cup of water for Joshua. He didn’t drink tea as an avid coffee addict.

“No. Nothing wrong per say,” Uncle Jeremey said.

“So…?” Joshua felt the ache of the day weighing down on him and he could sense that whatever his uncle wanted it would be something very painful.

“Max is getting married.” Aunt Emily said.

“Oh, congratulations. But a text would’ve been fine.” He looked at them, raising his brows, “Unless there’s more to it than that.”

The two of them looked at each other, clearly anxious for some reason. If this involved Max, why was Aunt Theresa here. Unless they needed her for extra support.

“We don’t— “She shook her head. “We can’t leave the store and the kids to help him.”

“We wanted to know if you could go over to Seoul and help him with what was needed,” he held his hands up, “we’d provide all the money for Max’s needs and for you to fly over. We just need someone there to help him along the process until the actual wedding day.”

“Things like buying and setting up a house. Planning the wedding in some capacity,” Aunt Emily twisted her hands. “He’s young and while he’s smart there are somethings that he needs help with.” She gave him a soft smile. “You’ve had experience living there alone, making your own decisions. He needs a guiding hand. Can you go to Korea to help him Joshua?”


	3. They're Calling me Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are certain places that remind you of hurt, certain names that taste bitter, certain faces that are still hard to look at, certain memories that are too heavy to visit, even 5 years later, 10 years, 15 years.  
> They all remind you of hurt because something inside you “still hurts”.
> 
> Kriti, All these years I thought it was them when it was my own heart (hurting) (via wordsnquotes)

“No,” Joshua stated bluntly. He never planned to set foot in Korea for a long while, maybe even forever.

“Joshua!” His mom scolded. “He’s your younger cousin and they need help.”

“No. There are plenty of other cousins to help and even family over there and here. Why do you need my help?” He tightened his fist; Joshua wasn’t going to play the pushover anymore. “Do you think I could leave the clinic for that long? That my own business is something easily handled and closed for a few weeks? And the café I set up with Benji and Philip?”

Ichigo whined as she apparently heard the underlying current of anger in his voice.

“We asked you because you’ve lived in Korea for several years and have friends there still. I thought it’d be easier for you since you and Max are similar ages. You know how he is. We want the best for him, not for their needs to be completely ignored by the older family members,” Aunt Emily said.

He raised his eyebrow again, “Not to mention me being a doctor certainly doesn’t hurt either huh?” He bought the part about some of the older family members likely ignoring Max and his future-wife-to-be’s opinions though.

“Yes, your age and occupation do help. But Joshua, please, Max needs help and we can’t leave the kids,” Uncle Jeremey pleaded.

“And leave my mom? Here? Alone? She just got into remission for the last two years. We still have regular checkups to see if the cancer is back. No!” Joshua rarely raised his voice, but they were really asking for a lot without giving him any reassurances. After losing his dad there was no way he could stand losing his mom, especially if he was in Korea and she passed while he was gone.

Aunt Theresa held out her hands in a placating manner, “That’s why I’m here Joshua. I would take care of her in your stead and take her to her appointments. Not to mention we’d have the kids around as well.”

“None of you are doctors,” he threw out, “in an emergency what could you do?” He opened his mouth, only to be shushed by his mom.

“Joshua Hong. I didn’t raise you to be like this.” She reprimanded.

“But mom. I can’t— “

“No. You listen here Joshua. Your family is asking for help and if you can you should provide it.”

“Fine. Fine. Aunt Theresa and the family taking care you besides. But who would take over the clinic while I’m gone hmm? My partner only manages one side of it. My patients can’t be without their doctor for 3-4 weeks.” Shu moved into his lap, purring in reassurance. He must’ve heard the anxiety in his voice. Joshua pet Shu’s head, breathing lightly, “Any solutions for that?”

“We were hoping that you could contact one of your other friends or that it would be all right to close the clinic for a few weeks,” Aunt Emily said trailing off.

“I—“

“Joshua!”

He sighed. As he pet Shu on the head, letting the cat head butt into his hand, he reluctantly said, “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you Joshua. We’ll take good care of your mom. You know that.”

He rose from the couch. “I’ll get started on the search. I’ll tell you in a few days what I come up with and if I can. Come on Ichigo, to bed.” He let out another sigh as he went up the stairs. Knowing his mom, he’d have no choice but to go. He shivered. Going back to Korea gave him a bad feeling. Damn his life right now.

* * *

At first, several of his calls came up empty. Not on vacation. Too busy. Still in my residency. His second to last call finally came up with something good. A medical school friend who was still waffling between staying at a hospital or opening her own practice. Luckily or rather unluckily for him she was actually free; she quit her job at the hospital to think. She was happy to help him. It would give her a feel for a private practice as well.

“It’s only for a month tops,” Joshua explained as he placed her drink down on the table, himself sliding into the chair across from hers.

“You won’t take more time off for a vacation? Helping out with wedding stuff isn’t fun. Why not take a vacation while you’re there too? Hang out with old friends,” Lisa said.

“An abandon all of my patients? This lovely café that I spent a lot of money on?” Joshua said, eyebrows raising into his hairline.

“Workaholic,” she teased.

“Yea, well my patients love me. Even if they’re seeing me because they’re sick,” he retorted.

Her mouth opened. “Oh my god. What if your patients don’t like me? What if they ask if what I did with Dr. Hong?”

Joshua laughed at the panicked look on her face. “I’ll make sure to leave a note and a phone call to all my patients. That way they won’t try to eviscerate you on the first day. You’ll have to come in maybe a week to acclimate yourself to the clinic and my work partner.”

“The one who does the herbal medicines and things?”

“Yea. The older folks and some of the youngers one prefer it to the regular old here are some pills to relieve the symptoms. Even if I do tell them alternatives to western medicine.” Joshua shrugged. “Maybe my baby face makes them not believe me.”

She started laughing, hard enough to bang on the table a few times. “Baby. Face.” Letting out another round of giggles she said, “Please.”

“Hey,” Joshua said. “I’ll have you know it’s not my just my patients who tell me. It’s a lot of other people too.”

As Lisa let the giggles peter out she got up and looked at him. She nodded. “Ok. I concede. You do have a rather babyish face. Sort of. You’ve slimmed down a lot though coming back from Korea. It’s very elegant. But your aura.” She shook her head. “Nothing babyish about that.”

“I try to keep a very calm, cheerful feeling about me during work,” he said raising a brow. “I don’t carry myself the same everywhere.”

She laughed, smacking him on the arm. “Don’t we know it. You snake.”

“I’m not a snake,” Joshua protested.

Her phone went off. “Shit. I’ve got to go. Call me when you want me to come in to get used to the ropes for the month you’ll be gone.”

“I’m not a snake Lisa!”

“Whatever you say Josh.” She replied back, running out the doors of the café, drink in hand.

Joshua sighed and stood up going back to the counter.

“Girlfriend, cousin?”

“No, Michael. She’s as likely to be my girlfriend as when you get one.” He raised a brow at him, “And we all know that’s not going to happen ever. ‘Mr. I’m gay parents deal with it. Hey cousins I’m gay fuck you’ which was completely unnecessary. I could care less.”

“That’s you. Some of the other ones,” he said trailing off.

“Need to get their head out of their asses. I know,” Joshua nodded. “If they don’t, when it comes time for family reunions, here’s what you do. Get one of your biggest buffest gay friends to pose as your boyfriend and rub it in their faces. I’ll sit back and support you and laugh as they make the most disgusted faces ever.”

Michael laughed. “Oh my lord. Everyone says that you’re the nicest one of us all. But some of the shit you say.”

“It’s called being grown up and learning new things. Can’t be the angel forever.” Joshua shrugged.

“More like you never one at all,” Katy said as she walked out of the kitchen with a tray of muffins.

“Hey,” Joshua said, offended. “I’m nice.”

Michael started snickering on the side.

“You’re nice. But you’re definitely not an angel. The stuff you would do to the kids who pissed you off or hurt your friends.” She shook her head as she placed the muffins in the glass display. “You were more like an avenging angel. Now you’re a workaholic one.”

“What’s wrong with my lifestyle? And they deserved it,” Joshua said defending himself.

She finished placing the muffins, putting down the tray on the counter. Moving over, she started petting him on the head, straining her arm a bit. “Sweet, sweet, sweet Joshua. All work and no play make you a dull boy. And no one wants to date a dull boy. Right Michael?”

Michael who just about expired on the floor from laughing, picked himself up and quipped out, “Yup. Even the gay ones won’t want to date you. Doctor or not.”

“I don’t want to date,” Joshua said flatly, crossing his arms. “I have no use for relationships. Not now and not in the foreseeable future.”

“Awww, no grandbabies for mama Hong?” Katy said, teasing.

“No husbands? Or husbands with babies?” Michael said with a wink.

“None,” Joshua flatly said.

“You dated in Korea right?” Michael asked.

For a spilt second Joshua wanted to throw up. Korea. He had to go back there. And see him. His friends would want too even if he could avoid it for a bit he’d have to see him. Fuck.

“No,” Joshua said, shaking his head, lying through his teeth. “Didn’t date anyone there either.”

“Such a dull boy,” Katy tsked. “Look at you nearing your mid 30s and still single. While Max is set to be married soon. Such a great role model you are.”

“Are your parents hounding you Katy? Is that why you’re hounding me?”

Katy had the grace to blush a bit. “When are they not,” she mumbled.

Joshua sighed. “Listen. You’re a growing woman. A couple of years out of college. You’re young. Stand up for yourself and tell them to back off and that’ll you’re looking. Just haven’t found the right one yet.”

“If only if were that easy,” she said quietly.

“Do you want me to talk to them for you? I’ll come up with some claptrap and you’ll be home free for a while.”

“Will you?” She said, eyes lighting up. “You’re like the poster child for all things achieved even if you’re currently single.

Michael snorted. “Poster child indeed.”

“Need me to talk to your parents too Michael,” Joshua raised his brow in question. “Hmm?”

He looked down at his feet. “I’m tired of hearing I know some nice Korean boys Michael. A friend’s son.”

Joshua took a long look at the two of them, their youth really showed at times like these. “Sometimes I forget how young you two are. I’ll talk to them.”

“Thanks Joshua,” Katy hugged him before skipping back into the kitchen.

“I’d hug you but I know you don’t like them much,” Michael said.

Mouth raised in an upward quirk, Joshua said, “Force of habit.” Joshua turned away, starting to wipe down the counter with a towel.

“You know. For someone who said he didn’t date in Korea,” Michael started, biting his lip before continuing, “you looked like you came back devastated by something.”

He stopped. Letting out a long sigh, “Michael, that’s none of your business,” he said softly, “and my dad just died.”

“What do you mean it isn’t any of my business?”

Voice as cold as ice, Joshua said,  “Exactly what I said Michael. It. Isn’t. Any. Of. Your. Business. So drop it.”

Michael stepped back, surprised at the cold fury in Joshua’s eyes. “I just wanted to say that I’m here if you need me.”

“I told you it wasn’t any of your business. And you have no room to talk. We weren’t that close either until you started working here since Benji asked you if you needed a part time job. Don’t you dare say anything.” Joshua didn’t need people prying into his business.

“I just wanted to be of some help,” Michael whispered. He started towards the kitchen. “I won’t ask again then. Thanks for going to talk to my parents.”  He moved quickly. Most likely to talk to Katy about Joshua and his iciness.

Deflating, Joshua tore off the apron, nearly stomping to the employee changing rooms. He threw the apron in angrily. How dare Michael? He had no right to question Joshua about anything when Joshua didn’t bother him about his lifestyle of going through guys like t-shirts. Bringing up his past, reminding Joshua of Jeonghan now. Slamming the locker shut, he clocked out and informed the front workers that he’d be gone for the rest of the day.

 Joshua tore across the parking lot and into his car. He had other things to do anyhow. Meddling, nosy people had no place in his life.

* * *

The seagulls squawked, the ocean moved, the beach was alive. People milling about everywhere: playing volleyball, laying about in the sun, chatting, flirting, swimming. It was enough to drown out a person’s thoughts.

 Joshua headed towards an uphill area, a secluded spot. He needed to breathe, yell, think. Calm himself down. Having to go back to the source of the biggest heartbreak of his life was getting to him, and he wasn’t even out of the country yet. He didn’t think he could handle one month in Korea.

Hugging himself, he stood up on little cliff looking down on the beach. Joshua shivered. He woke up this morning with tears on his cheeks and a heavy feeling. The dream had been hazy but he remembered enough.

* * *

‘Hey, when are you going back to LA?’

‘Tomorrow. I told you thousand times already.’

Whining, Jeonghan threw him a pout. ‘How long are you staying?’

‘Jeonghan, I told you how long I was going to be gone too. A week.’

More whining. ‘A week is too long. What am I going to do without you?’

Movement. Close to him. Arms around him. Breathing on his neck. A kiss. A nuzzle. ‘Don’t leave me.’

Turning. Eyes wide, confused. ‘Jeonghan?’

‘Don’t leave me. Please. I love you. Don’t leave me.’

* * *

Joshua woke up to tears and a rapidly beating heart. He curled into himself feeling like he wanted to die. It was a dream. No, a nightmare. It was a nightmare mocking him of all the times Jeonghan had whined and pleaded for him not to leave him. Jeonghan had broken up with Joshua first. In terse words and hurried movements. Leaving him to pick up the pieces. And Joshua had been sent reeling months later with news of his dad’s illness and then the news of Jeonghan’s wedding. In the aftermath Joshua had left it all behind, only for his world to begin spinning once again.

He clawed himself back up from the brink of destruction and here he was made to go back to where everything fell apart for him. He didn’t think he could take it.

Feeling it all bubble up, Joshua wanted to claw out his heart and throw it away. Instead, he sat on that cliff for a few hours, watching the sun set.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm doing a little thing. do read the rules first. https://twitter.com/lietothedevil/status/982872304471433217


	4. Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die. - Juliette Lewis

Looking at himself in his mirror, he patted his cheeks. “Game face on.” Joshua didn’t need to show them just how bad he felt. They’d worry and ask and he had had enough of being asked about his feelings.

He tapped Vernon’s Kakao talk ID. Letting it ring, he sighed. Things felt like they would spiral out of control again. Joshua had his life together, but one thought of Jeonghan and one trip back to the very city where that person lived had him scrambling, feeling like his world was being ripped out from under him.

“Hey Josh, you outside?” Vernon said.

“Yea. I have some good news for you two. I think,” he said hesitating a bit.

“You think it’s good news? Must mean it’s good news for us and not for you then,” Vernon barked out a laugh.

“Hey,” Joshua said, voice filling with hints of reprimand, “in that case you should be happy for yourself but sad for me.”

“Bro,” Vernon said laughing into the phone, “how am I supposed to be happy yet sad at the same time?”

“Multitask,” Joshua deadpanned.

Vernon’s hysterical laughter filled Joshua’s eardrums. “We’ll be down in two minutes.” The line went dead.

Joshua sighed once again and leaned back against his seat. He didn’t think he was so weak to succumb to just the slight fear of running into Jeonghan again. Did he grow at all during the last six years?

Hearing Seungkwan’s still loud voice, even after all these years it hadn’t changed, he unlocked his doors. It was too late to contemplate that now. He would have to grit his teeth and bear with it.

* * *

“So, what’s the good news,” Vernon asked as he drank his beer.

Seungkwan looked at Joshua curiously. “Good news?”

Joshua leaned back into his chair. “Good news. I can probably make your wedding reception.”

“Really?!” Vernon’s eyes bugged out, while Seungkwan leaned close, palms down on the table.

“How?”

Joshua seriously wished he still drank a little. “My cousin Max is getting married and my uncle and aunt need someone to help him. They asked me and while I refused at first, I was made to. So, I’ll be back in Korea in about two weeks.”

“How long?” Seungkwan asked, the light in his eyes even brighter.

“A month at the most I think. Supposedly, Max has a lot planned out but needs me there to be a slightly guiding hand I guess,” Joshua shrugged. “I don’t know how much work I’ll need to help him with but I can only give one month away from the clinic.”

“That’s enough time for us to plan a small reception dinner and you’ll be there. That’s wonderful,” Seungkwan said, beaming at Joshua. “It’ll be your first visit back to Seoul and you’ll be there to spend that time with us.”

Vernon held out his fist. Joshua smiled softly and bumped it back. Vernon nodded at him, smile wide on his face.

“That sad part is that you have to leave your clinic,” Vernon stated.

“Yea.” Joshua nodded.

“Closing it down for the month?”

“No. I’m having a friend who just quit the hospital come take over temporarily for the month that I’ll be gone. I’d shut it down but I don’t want my regulars to have to resort going elsewhere. The friend wants some time to think about going private practice or back to the hospital workforce so this will give her a good feel for a private practice,” Joshua said, sipping at his water. “My patients will no doubt take a break from seeing me. But some of the easier things like physicals and easy exams she can do. My team of nurses will be there to help her as well. So, it should be sort of fine.”

They nodded.

“If not. I can always close I guess. It’s just slightly irksome on some level.” Joshua frowned, thinking of how some regulars wouldn’t like that.

“Better to close for the month instead of having your friend mess up,” Seungkwan pointed out.

“I trust her on a doctor level. She knows her stuff. It’s the problem of getting her used to some of my daily patients and then having them ok with her. Maybe the emergency ones will just come in I guess,” Joshua sighed. Having someone take over for a short period of time seemed so weird.

“Do what you think is best for your patients and your business,” Vernon pointed out. “If you’re worried about your patients finding a place to go to then keep it open. And just emphasis the appointments you have with her about special needs and then have your nurses help out on the walk ins.”

“Closing for a month is too long. I’d rather keep it open.” His shoulders drooped. “It’s just weird to be thinking of being away that long. I’ve only ever closed it down on weekends and the occasional holidays,” Joshua said softly.

“Think of it as a vacation hyung. A vacation that’s long overdue.” Seungkwan said quietly, “We miss you.”

Missed. Wasn’t that a loaded word. Joshua would be lying if he said that he didn’t miss the rest of them. They all lived in Korea while he came back home. To the sun, to English, to his mom. To his father’s grave. He missed them a lot. But he didn’t miss being in close proximity to his former best friend turned ex-lover. He didn’t miss that guy at all.

Vernon interrupted his thoughts. “When was the last time you talked to any of them? I don’t think I saw a single message from you on the group chat in a long while.”

Joshua had the decency to blush, not quite meeting their eyes. “Quite some time. I don’t normally check the app anymore.” He let out a little hum. “I think you were the last one I talked to in the last few months.”

“No wonder. They asked me about you since they hadn’t heard a peep from you in a long time. You should be a little more attentive to your friends you know Josh.”

Letting out an embarrassed laugh, he explained himself. “I get up, open the clinic, check the work messages, see my patients. Close the clinic. Come home, eat, relax, do paperwork. Rinse and repeat except for the weekends, it’s slightly different. I check when I can. The only people who message me on that app are you guys now. My family takes to leaving phone messages and texts.”

“Still. Makes us feel neglected.”

They shifted in their chairs as the waiter came with their food, shuffling things around the table to get things to fit.

“My bad. I’m just rather busy.”

“Do you know what the rest of them are doing? Or if they have relationships?” Seungkwan asked with a brow raised.

Joshua shook his head, spearing a piece of asparagus. “Sadly, to say no I don’t.”

“So, you don’t know that Jeonghan hyung got divorced,” he continued.

Joshua’s stomach lurched. In happiness he thought. If Joshua felt the slightest bit of joy well sue him. He had all the right to feel just a tiniest of bit happy. Served Jeonghan right in a sense.

“Oh? That’s too bad.” While Joshua felt just a bit vindictive, it didn’t mean he didn’t pity his ex. Who knows maybe the two of them did love each other.

“Yea. We wondered what would happen with Haneul but she just gave him up,” Vernon said, eating his steak.

“Haneul?” Joshua said, voice lilting upwards. Who was Haneul?

“Jeonghan hyung’s son. He didn’t tell you? That he had a kid. Haneul is 3 years old now.”

“It must’ve slipped my mind. I mean short of sleep and lots of rest, things go in one ear and out the other,” Joshua said smoothly, dodging future questioning. In all honesty, the last time they spoke at all was when Jeonghan broke up with him and from then on, he ignored all messages, texts, and his presence when they had time to do video calls early on when he left.

“Ah true,” Vernon interjected, “Joshua hyung is a bit airheaded.”

Dryly, Joshua responded, “Thanks Vernon.”

“Just telling it how it is.”

Seungkwan in a sad voice, “It just seems sad that Haneul won’t have his mom anymore.”

Vernon moved close, rubbing at his shoulders to comfort him.

Coldly Joshua said, “It’s better for the child in the long run. If the two of them were having arguments seeing that would damage him in ways that would affect him later on in life. Better for them to divorce when he’s too young to even remember her well.”

Seungkwan nodded. “True,” in a quiet voice.

Joshua sighed, trying to comfort Seungkwan. “He’ll have his dad and the rest of his many annoying uncles. You guys will help Jeonghan. The kid will be fine.”

“He’ll get to meet Uncle Joshua then,” Vernon smirked.

No. If Joshua had his way he’d never set eyes on the child. He didn’t want to see a child that likely resembled Jeonghan at all. If was one thing to had fallen in love with his father a long time ago, but to see and perhaps fall in love with the child that came from the marriage that happened due to them breaking up, no.

“We’ll see. I might not have as much free time. Depends on how well things are going with Max’s stuff.” And Joshua hoped that he wouldn’t have any free time at all and things weren’t going well. He wasn’t ready to deal with that pain. Not in that same place, with the very person who made him break.

“Right. Family first,” Vernon said, a slight pained smile on his face.

“I’ll make time for you guys. Promise. I just can’t guarantee how much time,” Joshua said.

“It’s ok,” Vernon started, “as long as you’re there.”

* * *

Monday dawned and Joshua went to work. Informing his team of the change that would take place for the next month.

They nodded, knowing that he had yet to ever take time off. They were determined to do well without him. And Joshua trusted them. It would be fine he hoped, as he took his first ever half day off.

* * *

“Let’s get you two hitched,” Joshua said, smiling at Vernon and Seungkwan.

They got out of the car, walking up into city hall.

Joshua did most of the talking, from getting them from the front desk to the court room.

There it was up to them. The judge and the office worker looked through their documents nodded in approval and then it was down the little speech and their yes’s and a nice signed document.

“Do you Hansol Vernon Chwe take Seungkwan Boo to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Yes,” he said, holding Seungkwan’s hands tight, smiling so wide.

“Do you Seungkwan Boo take Hansol Vernon Chwe to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Yes,” Seungkwan said loudly, smiling just as hard back, tears starting to spill from his eyes.

Joshua was lost in the moment. It was so similar to Jeonghan’s wedding. No, wait. It was so similar to their stupid play acting of them getting married. Jeonghan had joked about it, even going so far to act it out. it gave Joshua a good laugh, but in the end Jeonghan looked up at him seriously and said with such clear conviction that he would marry Joshua one day. What a joke. Joshua had watched him get married to someone who wasn’t him.

He came back to reality as the judge banged his gavel.

“I know declare you two husband and husband. Congratulations.”

The two of them kissed, with Joshua coughing hard in the background. “I think that’s enough. Don’t traumatize the judge.” With a swish of his head he said, “Let’s go. I have a surprise for you two.”

“A surprise?” Seungkwan asked.

“Yea,” Joshua replied with a smile.

* * *

He drove them to the café. Nodding to the staff he recognized, he bypassed them and walked Vernon and Seungkwan up the stairs. He stopped right before the door.

“Blindfolds on please,” Joshua said, holding out two black ribbons.

Vernon laughed and nodded. First, he tied one onto Seungkwan, then Joshua turned him around and tied on him.

“Ok, so follow me. Slowly ok. I’ll tell you where to move if things get in the way all right?”

“Got it.”

Joshua opened the door, leading Seungkwan by the hand.

“Turn right. A little more. Ok. Now stop.” He moved, feet hitting the wood of the dance floor. “Let me take off the blindfolds. Vernon,” Joshua placed his hands on Seungkwan’s blindfold, “you take off Seungkwan’s blindfold while I take off yours. On three.”

Vernon nodded.

“One. Two. Three.”

Joshua released the tie on Vernon’s blindfold and Vernon tugged on Seungkwan’s.

Seungkwan let out a gasp as the ribbon fell to the floor.

The roof was empty save for one table in the middle of a makeshift tent gazebo that Joshua had made the weekend. He had Katy fix the rest up with flowers and lanterns and fairy lights to be turned on when the sun went down. It was an intimate dinner for two.

“I can’t bring everyone here for today. But I can give you a special dinner for two. Courtesy of the café and served by me. A gift,” Joshua said all smiles as Vernon held out his hand.

The two of them clasped hands. Seungkwan came over to him, giving him a giant hug.

“Now let’s get you two seated and started on appetizers and drinks,” Joshua said, winking at them.

* * *

Joshua climbed up the stairs, drinks on the tray along with a plate of appetizers. He placed down the drinks and the plate. “Today we have some special cocktails. Especially made with the two grooms in mind. A right stinger of a drink for Seungkwan, light on the fruit and deep in the tang. A more light unique one for Vernon, champagne mixed with some whiskey adding a dash of presucco. And on the menu to start you two out with is the house appetizers. All of them to try out.”

The night progressed with Joshua bringing new dishes and taking the old ones. As the night dwindled he turned on the fairy lights and the lanterns giving them a taste of their own private night time view.

“And the last thing on the menu is dessert. A chocolate cake with a berry filling, topped with some cream and your new initials,” he said quietly, voice full of meaning. The cake was topped with their initials of HVC and SB, but underneath he switched the letterings around HVC and SC. “I didn’t know if you would bother changing your names but I thought it’d be cute to show you two anyway.”

“Hey,” Vernon croaked out, “thanks.”

Joshua smiled. “Only the best for my bro.” He gave Vernon a one-armed hug. “Enjoy the cake and the rest of the night. And congratulations. I knew you two could get here.” With that he left them staring at each other with such love in their eyes. Joshua ignored the niggling feeling of jealously. Him and Jeonghan were over. There was nothing to go back to, no matter the circumstances. Because when one loved more than the other it would go nowhere, just like their relationship did.


End file.
